I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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