the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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