I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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