Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My liver just broke up with me...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
