I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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