Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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