I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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