It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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