i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
