She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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