I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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