wakey wakey hands off snakey
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize