obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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