I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
