New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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