He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
