is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
