you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
