I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
