nut hugger
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
