Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
