Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize