I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize