Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
