I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
