i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
