I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
