haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
