dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
