My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
