Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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