You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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