My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
