U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
