I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
