i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
