i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
