office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
