at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think i have herpe
just one?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize