Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
