we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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