i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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