Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize