My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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