CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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