Do you still have your period?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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