Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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