he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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