quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
