I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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