I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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