I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
