my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
