I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
