We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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