I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no you cant smoke seaweed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
