Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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