In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We left an ass print on the piano.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
