God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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