are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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