Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
