Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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